Thursday, July 18, 2013

A Nonsense Article to Tide You Over Because I Haven't Seen Any Movies These Past Few Days

The egg of Wednesday told me to fry the cat from Nantucket with ease. I told her, "You can't always get the kind of charger that keyboards can call their grandmother, can you?" She didn't respond, but the only kind of poster that does your taxes is the nonchalant kind. It was then that a bird that was walking by came to a startling revelation: Leonardo DiCaprio has never been to its house. This came as quite a shock to the lawyers, who had never heard the word "ersatz" and weren't willing to find out what it meant. That didn't stop Brent, the lopsided pickle who didn't play by the rules.
Now, it's strange to note at this point that I hadn't met Brent until last Kwanzaa, and by then he had already made nine thousand shoes out of the watches of businessmen. In fact, the only lopsided pickle I'd ever met was Gary Busey, and I'd only met him via Tumblr. Getting back to the story, it was clear at this point that Brent had no idea how the YouTube comments section worked. This, of course, meant that Katie, the lonely bowl of French onion soup, had no choice but to see the Total Recall remake by herself. Now, you may be asking yourself, "Did I leave the hairdryer on?" Unfortunately for you, Yahoo Answers can't help you with that predicament.
If there was one thing Brent had learned from all his years as a hole digger, it was that the best kind of box is no box at all. So, when he had finally found the tomb of Gilgamesh, he was at a loss. It wasn't until Frank Stallone made an appearance that he finally knew the answers. He got on a zeppelin back home and when he got there, he was off to the races. Unfortunately, it turned out that Frank Stallone had lied to him and Remembering Another Dashboard was not the winning horse.
Brent had a lot of opinions. He preferred latitude to longitude, Mac to PC, Ground Control to Major Tom, etc. But there was one thing he didn't know, and that was why Australians called them thongs instead of flip-flops. Of course, Brent did wind up saving the day in the end of this story, so you don't need to know the rest. Basically, Brent shot JR, DiCaprio got the girl, I learned a valuable lesson, and Bruce Willis was bread the whole time. Overall, I give it a C++.
Story is end!